ONE Thing Makes ALL Women Fight For YOUR Attention| The Mindset That Makes Her Want You

ONE Thing Makes ALL Women Fight For YOUR Attention| The Mindset That Makes Her Want You

hey so in this video I’m gonna talk
about the number one mindset the only
mindset that separates the guys the the
guys that struggle to maintain the
attraction of a woman
the guys who tend to always blow it when
they really like your girl
the guys who tend to chase after a girl
for years even when it’s pretty clear
that nothing’s ever gonna happen versus
the guys that women chase you might call
them players you might call them jerks
but the reality is these guys these guys
that do extremely well with women
all share this mindset I’m Bobby Rio and
for the last ten years I’ve been doing
coaching sessions and one of the things
that I’ve come to realize is that there
is a certain there’s a certain mindset
that creates the this feeling of
emotional quicksand I’ve referred to in
other videos it’s when you become
obsessed with a girl when you’re so is
scared of losing her or when she’s
already slipping away you’re so obsessed
with getting her back that your life
almost standstill you literally can’t
think about anything else maybe you’re
in it maybe you’re in this predicament
right now where you’ve got this one girl
on your mind and you’re chasing after
her you’re constantly playing a mental
chess game in your mind of what what to
do you’re replaying conversations trying
to figure out what went wrong or how you
can how you can get her back and I deal
with this all the time from clients and
what I realized is and the reason I
really want to create this video is
because there’s a mindset that that that
creates that feeling and nice guys tend
to suffer from this and it tends to be
the number one reason why they struggle
so much to keep attraction in a woman or
even to get a woman attracted to them in
this first place so what is the mindset
let’s let’s talk about the mindset and
then I’m gonna explain a little bit why
it’s more important and more importantly
I’m gonna give you three tips to
implement this new mindset going forward
so that you avoid you avoid emotional
quicksand you don’t get wrapped up in a
woman you don’t you don’t
you’re not the guy chasing women you’re
the guy being chased so the mindset is
of abundance and even if you think even
if you think you know what I mean by the
word abundance right please stick with
me because I’m gonna make this even
clearer and even more pertinent even
more so that you can actually implement
this not just this abstract theory of oh
yeah it’s abundance of course no I’m
gonna show you how you develop this
habit of thinking of women in terms of
abundance which allows you to escape
that nice guy mentality that that winds
up chasing women and become the guy that
women chase now in a previous video I
actually talked about the five traits
that women chase in a man and if you
haven’t watched that video it’s on my
channel I’ll link to it below called
five traits that women chase in a man
but the reality is all five of those
traits things like autonomy boundaries
right all these things rely on this
mindset because if you don’t have the
mindset of abundance it’s very hard for
you to be completely autonomous to go
about your life to focus on other things
besides women or to be talked about the
idea of setting boundaries with women if
you don’t feel like you have options if
you don’t feel like there’s always
another woman out there that would would
be into you it’s very hard to set
boundaries because you are too afraid to
lose a woman you’re you know you’re too
scared to walk away one of the I was
doing a session recently with a client
and he’s telling me about the situation
he’s in and it’s let’s just without
getting into details of his private life
let’s put it this way it’s not a
situation you want to be in right there
is very very very little hope that the
relationship with this woman will ever
turn into what he wants it to be yet
he’s still wasting weekend after weekend
spending time with her not getting what
he wants because he is unable to walk
away well why is he unable to walk away
because he does not have an abundant
he has a scarcity mindset his mindset is
she is the only one right who’s been
there who has been there where you’ve
you’ve dated a girl maybe it’s an
ex-girlfriend maybe it’s a girl you went
on a few dates with her maybe it’s a
girl you’re in the friend zone with
right now and something about yourself
tells you she’s she’s just different
she’s just special we just have this
connection that I I don’t have with
other girls
well that feeling of she is special
really comes from a place of scarcity of
believing that she’s the only one you’re
ever gonna meet like that I could
remember getting on at a college and I
had been dating this girl throughout
college and we were about to move in
together and we had talked about
marriage and we were like you know we
were on that track and then out of
nowhere she pulled the rug out from
under me and in a matter of in a matter
of weeks I went from thinking I was
about to move in with her thinking that
this was gonna be my life I was gonna
marry her we were gonna spend the rest
of our lives together
to her going I’m just not feeling it and
my next six months to a year was
completely I was in emotional quicksand
she was all I could think about I I
remember a month where I couldn’t even
get out of bed and I tried to get back
into the dating scene but every girl
that I met I was just compared to her
and go there’s just not like her or
she’s you know she’s just different and
then you know the same thing happened
with the girl that that I actually
developed the Scrambler around I have
told that story before as well where a
girl that I was in the friend zone with
I got out of the friend zone and then
she slipped away and I became obsessed
again oh my god emotional quicksand
she’s all I can think about and every
girl that I would meet I would compare
to her and in reality what was going on
in both situations and like I said maybe
you have experiences – its scarcity
thinking it’s this thought process that
there’s only a there’s only a limited
amount of women that fit into this box
of your type or girls that you’ll
connect with or women that
you know but the reality is and the
reality is is that it’s the deeper
feeling that you have is not that she’s
the one right it’s not that she’s
special the reality is that the
unconscious belief is that she’s the
only one who finds me special right
she’s the only one who finds you special
because on a logical level you know
there’s plenty of other women that you
would love to be with so the reason that
you’re chasing after this one girl maybe
is because you had this good feeling
with her and now you think I had such a
good feeling with her and she’s
beautiful and she’s fun I’m never gonna
find another fun beautiful woman to be
with and that just simply isn’t the case
and the reason the reason that players
are jerks or you know players jerks
whatever you want to call them bad boys
I don’t know but the reason why they
naturally do things that make women
chase them right the reason why certain
guys tend to have women going after them
is is is is not because women like jerks
right and you’ve probably heard me say
it’s because they’re confusing right
because women think about them well why
are they so confusing why do women chase
these guys why do these guys play the
game so well so naturally it’s because
of this idea again of abundance a guy
who does really well with women he’s not
going to want to settle down immediately
with the first cute girl he gets along
with because he knows that there’s
dozens of other girls hundreds of other
girls thousands of other girls that he
could be equally compatible with so he’s
not going to immediately after two dates
you know what she’s the one because we
had a great conversation and she kissed
well no he’s gonna go you know she’s
pretty cool she’s good-looking but hey
I’m not I’m not committing until I know
for sure that we
on multiple multiple levels and because
of that he’s a little different the nice
guy meets her and after two dates he’s
immediately going she’s the one she’s
the wall and she’s GF material I can’t
tell you how many clients you know that
hired me and they’re they’ve met the
girl they’ve never even slept with her
and they’re going she’s GF material how
do you know a girl is GF material if
you’ve never gotten physical with her if
you’ve never slept with her if you’ve
never spent a weekend with her right you
don’t know anything about her until you
do these things the player the the the
the bad boy whatever you want to call
him he’s been around the block enough to
know that there’s always another woman
so he’s not going to consider a girl
girlfriend material so quickly and that
makes him more exciting now the
interesting thing is that nice guys
become players very quickly once they
have this okay this is the most
interesting thing in the world is that a
lot of guys go jerks
whatever this that that and that’s
because at they’re in a place of
scarcity right and when you’re in a
place of scarcity you tend to be nice
because you don’t want to do anything to
lose the woman you don’t want to offend
her you don’t want to you put up with
her bullshit because you’re afraid if
you don’t she’s gonna walk away and then
you’re gonna have nothing right but an
interesting thing happens I’ve been
coaching guys now for for 12 years and I
have friends and I’ve been in this
situation myself is that you start off
nice but then you begin to learn some of
this stuff or maybe you know I had
friends in college who they got to
college virgins who had never even
kissed girls in high school and then
they got to caught and they were nice
guy total nice guys but then they got
into a new social scene where like it
got really easy to to to meet girls
you’re drinking you’re partying and all
of a sudden all the sudden these nice
guys developed an abundant mentality and
what happens once you develop that
abundant mentality you become more of a
natural jerk now I don’t say jerk in a
bad way right I’m just saying that
because guys tend to say women like
jerks but in reality women like guys who
have an abundance mentality and
jerks you may describe them as jerks
when you’re sitting here but once you
develop an abundant mentality you fall
into this jerk player category where
women will describe you that way because
you’re no longer willing to settle down
after a couple good dates you’re no
longer considering our girl girlfriend
material just because she looks good you
have more options so you keep your your
your plate open you’re not you’re not
gonna settle down still quake you’re not
gonna tell a girl that you love her
after three weeks
you’re not gonna begin buying her
flowers like she’s the you know the
Queen like because you have abundance so
that’s the only difference the only
difference between nice guys and jerks
is is how they have right do they have
an abundant mentality or a scarcity
mentality if you have scarcity mentality
you tend to be nice if you have an
abundant mentality you tend to be more
of the player or the jerk it’s as simple
as that there’s no real difference right
a lot of guys like to think that jerks
have some inherently yeah the thing is
is that everything stems from that jerks
yes there are a little bit more they’re
willing to say more offensive things why
because they’re not scared of losing a
woman because they know there’s a lot of
other ones out there that’s it it’s not
because they’re naturally bad it’s
because they can take more risks right
abundance allows you to take more risks
okay and risks we talked about in the
five traits video fun is a trait that
makes you attractive to women it makes
you women chase a guy who’s are a lot of
fun well the more risks you take with
women the more fun you are and the more
abundant mentality you have the more
risk you take the more fun you have you
are the more likely women are to chase
you so it all stems from this mentality
of abundance so now the question is how
do you develop that mentality if you’ve
always been the typical nice guy who
doesn’t really think he has a lot of
options you you know maybe you’ve
struggled or maybe you haven’t struggled
but maybe you’re just the type of guy
that meets a girl
and thinks man she’s she’s the one how
do you prevent that well let’s discuss
three ways that you can do that right so
let’s talk about three ways to implement
this mindset the first way that you want
to do it is you want to change your
mentality when you meet a woman that you
connect with from she’s gf material or
maybe you went on a couple dates with
her and she didn’t call you back and now
you’re like I’m never gonna find another
girl like her and you get all upset and
you get in this emotional quicksand the
best thing you want to do is Express and
my friend my friend Christian Hudson
actually told me this and went when he
said it I realized it was something that
I had been doing that had helped me
write express gratitude for the
situation for her right and what I mean
by that is and I can say this from the
bottom of my heart every time that I’ve
been with a woman in the past that it
ended and I was upset about it I always
went on to meet someone that I was more
compatible with more attracted to got
along with better so what I found was
that anytime that I met a new woman that
I was really into and then for whatever
reason it didn’t work
I would I would almost be thankful I
would say you know what this just shows
me that that last one wasn’t the only
one there’s a lot of them right you just
you meet them and I know I know that
when your your your you’re going on a
lot of dates right specially if you’re
on online and you’re going on with these
and you’re meeting these girls off max
calm and and you get there and there’s I
mean listen I I’ve been in the max calm
years ago where I would go on dates and
I was like oh my god you’d sit there and
the most boring conversation she never
looked like her pictures you’re like
this is you know what am I doing here
and then you keep thinking about that
other girl who was so much better in so
many ways but so when you do meet the
one and it doesn’t work out don’t get
upset don’t don’t stay emotionally tied
to her just go thank you for letting me
see that there are girls like that out
let me just get back out there because
there’s the one from three years ago she
wasn’t the only one my ex-girlfriend
wasn’t the only one I just meant a new
one and I’ll probably meet another new
one the more I’m out there the more
likely it is I’m gonna meet her I know
that you might go well in theory that’s
easy to say but trust me the one girl
that you’re pining over she’s not that
special she’s not that great there’s
nothing about her that you’re not gonna
find in other girls it’s the emotion
it’s it’s the scarcity mentality I know
this because we only really pine after a
girl when we don’t have another girl
that we’re into the minute you find
another girl that you’re into that last
girl becomes old news you don’t even
think about her anymore
the problem is is that when you have
nothing going on in your life she’s the
only thing that you can just associate
those emotions that you want to have
with a woman with so you think she was
the only one so how else do you develop
this mentality right well the thing you
have to keep reminding yourself is that
it’s never been easier and there’s a
variety of reasons why it’s never been
easier but I’m gonna give you the big
one number one is the Internet
now not only has it been never been
easier because of you know in the past
when I was like in high school I had no
clue what I was doing wrong I had no
clue I knew that you know I wasn’t the
guy that girls liked I knew that but I
didn’t know why you know I I thought
maybe I was and I wasn’t fat I wasn’t
any but I but I always blamed well maybe
I need to go to the gym more you know I
was I was naturally introverted and kind
of quiet so I always says you know I’m
just quiet I but I didn’t really know
what to do I didn’t understand any of
that well nowadays with the internet I
mean you can watch videos like this and
understand oh wait a minute it’s not
that I’m attractive person it’s that I
haven’t learned to flirt yet or it’s not
that she didn’t want to kiss me it’s
that I didn’t know how to make my move
in the right way or it’s not that uh you
know I’m naturally unattractive it’s
that I was too needy I was too available
and by the way neediness neediness comes
from scarcity the reason guys are needy
if you’ve ever been needy if you’ve ever
needed reassurance and you’ve been
clingy with a girl those unattractive
traits it
it comes from the feeling of scarcity
once you have an abundant mentality that
that neediness disappears but when you
watch videos like this you can learn
that it’s it’s not anything inherently
wrong with you
it’s that there were skills that you
never learned and because you had maybe
the scarcity mindset you veered into
nice-guy realm and it could probably
cost you women that you probably had a
good chance with had you learned these
skills or earlier in life well now you
have no excuse because you know there’s
there’s everywhere you look there’s ways
to improve but that’s not the main
reason the other reason is that the
Internet allows you to connect with
women all over the all over the world
really but all over the radius right in
the past and the reason I say this is I
have a lot of clients that are older
guys guys in their 50s even guys in
their 60s who these guys have better sex
life than most 20 year olds right these
guys are hiring me because they’re
juggling multiple women and the reason
they’re able to do that is because the
internet now allows this it’s
unfathomable that you know 15 years ago
you were kind of regulated to your
social circle the girls you worked with
you know your friends of friends well
nowadays it doesn’t matter if you’re
into hiking you can go into hiking meet
up groups online and connect with other
hikers if you’re into music you can join
you know go to music things if you’re
into studying you know Mandarin you can
go to study Mandarin you don’t there’s
literally endless options of ways to
meet women
now I understand years ago if you were
an outcast like in high school if you
were an outcast in high school it was
tough because you didn’t really have
many options nowadays no matter what age
group you’re in you can go and find more
women there’s always more women and the
thing is is that your some woman’s type
no matter what you look like no matter
what your personality type is I can
remember being in a group one time and
this was back when I was still pretty
clueless with with women and I was with
a lot of my my other friends who were
you know much better than than me and we
were playing this game this was early in
and it was like you know kind of like a
truth or dare type game and one of the
questions was who in this room would you
want to hook up with and one of the
girls I never would have expected she
pointed to me and she’s him and then I
find out that she’s like liked me and I
never would have thought it I never
would have you know it won’t even have
crossed my mind but I just happened to
be her type
well you just happen to be some woman’s
type and if you put yourself out there
more places you will meet that woman
she’s out there and she’s looking for
you but when you sit home and you focus
on the one girl in your life who isn’t
into you you’re not gonna meet the one
who is so you got to get out there more
and it’s it’s really never been easier
you also got to use dating apps now I’m
always shocked when I when I do a client
call and I’m talking to a guy and I go
what else are you doing to meet women
are you on what we know what dating apps
are you on and so I’m not on any I was
on tinder two years ago and it didn’t
really do anything so I I haven’t I’m
like if you haven’t watched the video
yet my friend Rob judge he he’s
literally the master at dating apps but
he’s got a video it’s called end of men
comma I’ll link to it here end of men
now make sure you watch it because you
have to be on dating apps nowadays you
absolutely have to be even if you don’t
want to be you have to be because
literally almost every woman you meet
will be on these sites and you need to
know what her reality is because most
guys that they don’t they don’t they
can’t comprehend this that you know
women have this abundant mentality right
and that’s that’s why women don’t settle
down with guys so fast anymore is
because they’re on these dating apps and
they know they have you know thousands
of options well the thing is is that you
have thousands of options on these
dating apps too and even if you don’t
have thousands of options you have
options and when you’re on these apps
and you’re communicating with girls
right and even if you’re not meeting up
with them even if you’re not dating them
or sleeping with them even if you’re
just pulling out your phone and you’re
contacting them and you’re
and you got messages from them you begin
to understand the mindset of the woman
that you’re into is that this is what
she’s going through right you’re not the
only guy in her phone
you’re not the only guy she’s talking to
so you have to really it kind of helps
you understand that well if she’s the
only girl you’re talking to and you’re
sitting home and you message her and you
send her this boring thing you you
expect her to be all excited because oh
I got this message from him but
meanwhile she’s she’s juggling like 18
guys on tinder you got to realize that
you have to up your game a little bit to
stand out so you want to be on these
dating sites a because you will meet
more women I mean like my client like I
said my clients in their 50s 40s 50s 60s
I mean these guys are killing it on
sites like tinder and Bumble and all
that it does come down to presenting
yourself the right way and all that sort
of stuff end of men calm you should
watch that video but you got to be on
these sites because it fosters the
abundant mentality now the final thing
that I want to talk about and this
really is one of the most important is
always be growing and improving because
one of the things that happens is a lot
of times the scarcity mindset comes
because you’re you’ve met a really great
girl maybe you’ve been in a relationship
and you got little easy and then you get
out of the relationship and you forgot
how to flirt you forgot all the things
that made you appealing to your last
girlfriend and all of a sudden you’ve
you know you kind of feel like you have
nothing going on in your life you kind
of have this low self-esteem so one of
the things that you say is that first
off a lot of guys think that women have
the power well the reality is that if
you’re a a successful you know I’m a guy
who has purpose a guy who has a lot of
those other traits that I talked about
you have autonomy you have boundaries
you know you’re going somewhere in life
those are the guys that women are
insanely attractive they have all the
power in the social scene
you know it’s not that women have the
power it’s that you know I kind of kind
of say that you know there’s such thing
as incoming inequality well there’s also
dating inequality you know the guys that
that are at the top of the food chain
they have all the choice well the goal
is not to be the guy at the bottom of
the food chain the guy think the goal is
to always be rising to the top of the
food chain and it’s it’s not as hard as
you think
right when you when you eliminate this
mentality of it’s I’m not naturally
good-looking as those guys well I can
tell you this natural good-looking nest
does not take you very far I’ve had some
somebody left it in a comment recently
if you look at the guys in high school
who are naturally good-looking you can
see that they don’t normally marry the
best-looking women on the other hand if
you look at the guys in high school who
struggled a little bit they tend to be
the ones who are getting the better
women because they had to make their
life better and women are attracted to
that the guy who makes his life better
so if you’re not settling right and one
of that was one of the things that we
talked about in standards right if
you’re not settling if you’re always
striving to be better in all areas right
and I have videos on my channel about
you know getting better at making money
because getting better at you know
self-confidence because the cream rises
to the crop at the top cream rises to
the top
so if if you’re always improving you
will develop this abundance mentality
because you will be moving towards that
that that pinnacle of all the sudden
women start coming to you and I can’t
tell you how many of my older clients I
had our older clients say it’s me
recently goes Bobby it’s it’s like 10
times easier at 50 to meet women than it
was when I was 20 he’s like because
nowadays you know if you’re relatively
stable successful you know in shape and
you know how to talk to women you know
how to flirt you know how to play the
game you have this abundance mentality
you become the prize and and as long as
you have that that that mindset of like
I’m always going to be making myself the
best version of myself you begin to
think in abundant terms because you’ll
notice you’ll notice it right I can’t
tell you how many clients that I that
have hired me to get one girl and now
they’re like
you know I don’t know if I’m ever gonna
settle down because there’s so many
girls out there I’m having so much fun
being single so to sum it up you you
want to develop the mindset of abundance
that’s all it comes down to abundance is
the only thing that separates nice guys
and let’s just call them four players
whatever I don’t like that term but
let’s just call them that right because
then there’s scarcity here a nice guys
cling to scarcity players claim to
abundance once you begin to cling to
abundance you move into that category
that it’s as simple as that so like I
said if you haven’t watched Rob’s video
on dating apps you really need to watch
that because it will help foster this
mentality of abundance it’s end of men
calm I know it’s a gloomy a gloomy URL
but trust me you want to watch it end of
men calm now if you liked this video
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48 thoughts on “ONE Thing Makes ALL Women Fight For YOUR Attention| The Mindset That Makes Her Want You”

  1. 10 whale bone matches on Tinder- not making me feel abundant. Usually like this guy, but this is garbage advice. And your accent is horrible bro. "all a sutten"

  2. I remember even at my NiceGuy peak was girls calling me a jerk. I then realized the girls who thought that way were the ones I WASN'T chasing. It's not that I'm a jerk, I just put my happiness first.

  3. if you got high status, lot money, then yea you got choices, but what if your just averge earner guy, driving a ford focus, and not a lot of choices even though you do pickup

  4. A mindset of abundance would be nice… but you're literally going to meet less than five people in your whole life that you connect with on a deep level. Also, the great majority of women are attracted to a very small pool of men. Pareto Principle. About 20% of men get 80% of all of the attention.

    If you're an intellectual guy, you're going to have a very small pool of women worth chasing.

  5. Abundance mindset is definitely nice, however the difference between that and being socially awkward and withdrawn… that starts very early in life and gets imprinted. It's virtually impossible to change due to a lifetime of self reinforcement one way or the other.

  6. There was nobody to tell me all this in the 1960s when I was a beta-boy in South London and without anybody or anything female; even the family budgerigar was male and he and I did not get on well. Youngsters today have all this and therefore they are well-informed. 🙂

  7. …Pretty good, in- depth info….but….dudes in their 30's can make the internet work….but not the older guys, they screen- out by AGE…You can't even talk to the girl and the apps send you the most horrible great, grandmas…Now the exception are overseas sites where age, is almost an advantage, and is an advantage…But American girls generally won't give an app profile, where the age is more than 5 years, the time of day…I will get more attention from them at the bar than on the app and it's because she doesn't know your age yet….Once meeting that way she will mentally say, "Ohh, well…he's cool anyway"

  8. Yes I had a girl like that. We went to a club together, and even though her friends were coming on to me and she was showing little interest I was too dumb to see what she was doing! Tunnel vision is disaster in the dating game. So wish I'd had the sense to go off with one of them! We live AND learn!!!!

  9. Hi Bobby, Have you any idea how to have two women at the same time on the go but both of them quite happy about it? I know a man who has been doing this for 5 years now and he wont tel me his method!

  10. Guys stop thinking that she was the one that got away and start thinking that you are the one that she lost.
    Remember you are the prize.

  11. But if you’re putting on a facade you’re acting and actors get found out. Just live your life without fear and you’ll be fine.

  12. So, how do you get them to STOP chasing you?!! Do you club them over the head and drag them off in the bushes and run like hell? Because being an honest ass is only making her want me more… HELP! The restraining order isnt working.

  13. This is only things thats is most important for attracting girls, friends and bing happy in life… no game need to be played

  14. I need help, I met this beautiful woman online texting, that's our Only way of communicating, fare as me, I've only had to Relationships in my life, first wife 5yrs, I child, he adult now, sec. wife Valentine's Day 40 yrs., Were separated 3 yrs it's finished 5 adult children total, never dated but I have a love that Rock's my world like no one has ever done to me, going on two yrs Texting Each Other, I'm going on 66yrs old, Clara is 30 yrs old, she has told me I'm the only Man that's cared an has really loved her, I love Clara as Well A lot, I'm Very Emotional plus having PTSD an my Anxiety levels are high, She knows that, plus Clara knows I have a Disability from my stroke in 2006,plus Clara knows I have no money as well, but she has Told me that age is just a number, she loves me More Then life, me as well, Clara lives in Nigeria, but wants to be With an have a family which she's never had, lost Her Mom and Dad at a Very young age, yes Clara is colored, I Just Dont Care, My Heart doesn't care, WE know that WERE IN LOVE, can you please help me figure This All out so I will Know if Clara really loves Me like she has said, My name is James Crabtree, Email [email protected] Thank You

  15. Good video but FUCK dating apps for so many reasons. They are for guys hiding behind a screen too scared to make the approach in real life.

  16. 7:54 is is is is is is is is , by the way, it is a proof that, it doesn't matter how you talk, it is how you deliver…. Everything he says makes sense… Thank you Rio, one of the best couch out there….

  17. The fact is, women don't like nice guys, if you want to be in the friend zone, then be nice, if you don't then stop being nice.

  18. I’m single ended 3 year relationship, October 2019. Taking my time. All about health & fitness and dressing sharp, at a hockey game last nite . See this couple, the woman, about a 6. The guys about 300 plus pounds. So there’s someone for everyone, my last lady was , Columbia, love Latino women, will find another, it’s my goal. Chris

  19. The irony is if you care so much for a girl she will break up if you don't then she will be kinda like dog if you can offer her something far more than the other guys and you are harder to get.

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