Hey guys, it’s Matt Damon.
Uh, Ben are you on?
Yeah hey, Ben Affleck, I’m here, too.
And we have some really exciting news for you.
Right. For just 10 dollars, you and a friend
can hang out with me and Tom Brady.
And I guess also… um, Matt will be there.
Yeah and also me
because I’m also friends with Tom Brady.
Yeah, no sure, yeah, I mean you know…
Alright, okay anyway, we’ll get some pizza,
we’ll maybe get a couple beers,
we’ll throw the ball around, we’ll hang out
at one of our favorite spots in Boston…
with the greatest quarterback
who ever walked the earth.
And a man who will be joining us
on this call any minute.
In fact looks like, what’s this?
I’m getting a text from Tom Brady.
Wait, what does it say?
Hey, B.A., that’s my initials.
We use each others initials cause we have a-
It’s not… don’t make a thing out of it.
I’m running a little bit late, uh,
at the meeting, but I’ll be on there soon.
Did he put an emoji on the end?
Okay, which one?
Well that’s cool, um…
Cool I mean I don’t,
I don’t have reception here.
I’m sure that’s it.
So you know.
It’s hard to get reception in
major urban areas.
Anyway, uh, it’s gonna be an amazing night.
Okay, we can, we can hang out,
we’ll talk sports or politics.
Uh, or maybe Tom could tell you
what his favorite movie of all time is.
Or maybe he’ll tell you about the time you
pressured him into making him wear
a Jason Bourne t-shirt
and it was really uncomfortable for everyone.
Eh, he still wore it.
He felt bad for you.
All right, clearly this is a sore spot
for you Ben, and I’m sorry to bring it up.
Um… can’t help what Tom loves.
Maybe we should also mention how we
shouldn’t stare at Tom’s chin.
Okay, because I did that once
and that’s all you ever talk about?
Did it once, it was so weird.
It was like, people didn’t understand
what you were staring at.
I mean it’s just a chin.
A man’s chin.
It has a little bit of a…
come to think of it,
not unlike my chin really, in some ways.
Let me tell you something.
If your chin was anything like Tom’s,
that Batman movie of yours
would have made about four billion dollars.
‘Cause that’s the only part recognizable of you,
is that big, ugly chin.
Tom is a superhero.
Can you hear yourself?
Do you really wanna have this argument again?
Let’s ask T-Bone
who he’s better friends with.
That’s not his nickname.
That’s not his nickname.
I’m starting it.
It’s a nickname I’m starting.
I think it’s gonna catch fire.
It’s gonna what, I mean,
you’re gonna name him after a steak.
Why not call him f***** Prime Rib?
Why don’t we just ask him who he pointed to
after he threw that touchdown in New Orleans
Is this mic even on?
He was like, “You, you’re the one,”
and gave the double wink
in the audience, who was that?
We were sitting right behind his parents.
Yeah, he pointed at me first
and then I think he gestured to his parents.
Well you know what,
maybe I’ll ask Tom all about that
when we go get his half of our matching tattoo.
You got that tattoo four years ago.
When are you gonna admit
he’s never gonna get his half?
He will and when he gets it,
we’re gonna press our arms together,
and it’s gonna make a special symbol,
and it’s gonna be majestic and beautiful,
and it’s gonna be just for us
and you’re gonna be so jealous.
Hey, Tommy, what’s up!
T-Bone- yeah, don’t…
Sorry I’m late,
I just got done with some body work.
Yeah, me too.
I do some stretching.
Uh yeah, so I take it you already
told them about the fundraiser?
Yeah, we kept it pretty straight forward.
And totally stuck to the talking points,
just like you said.
Just like you said, T-Bone.
Well I am so excited to hang with you in Boston.
We’re excited to hang with you, too, Tom.
Can’t wait, man!
Actually guys, I was talking to the donors.
Yeah, no me too.
Me too… all of ‘em.
Anyway, every donation benefits three great causes.
So go to omaze.com/boston and enter.
And I can’t wait to meet you
and tell you which one of these guys
I actually like better.
It’s awesome, me.
He likes me better.
It’s me, the answer’s me.
Haha I’m kidding, Tom.
He hung up, Ben.
I miss you, pal.
Call me back!
Next time I hit you up with a text or whatever,
don’t feel like you’re bothering me.
If you have the urge to call me or whatever.
You’re never interrupting.
He’s gone, Ben.
Sometimes I wonder if you’re not calling me
‘cause you’re worried about bothering me.
But you’re not bothering me.
He’s still gone.